Cum River Incident

The Cum River Incident was a friendly fire incident within the CUM army, occurring on 23 May 2017, during the War of Catboy Independence. Poor communication between two scouting parties led to an exchange of friendly fire, an airstrike called on an friendly position, and the belief Catboy forces has attacked the CUM army.

Advance towards Horsecock
On May 17th, the 3rd, 5th, and 6th divisions, led by Colonel Emma, departed from Starbucks army base and advanced towards Horsecock. Following the defeat at Musky Furrest, the army decided to go around the furrest rather than through it. The march proceeded without incident for several days until the army reached the Cum River (Not to be confused with the CUM (Confederate Union of Mothers), the river is named after the male reproductive fluid) on May 22nd.

Friendly Fire Incident
Fearing an ambush while crossing the river, Colonel Emma ordered a full reconnaissance of the surrounding area. Reports conflict regarding what happened next but at roughly 11:27 pm two scouting parties encountered each other. Possible reasons for confusion include the fact that it was moonless night, radio interference, and an overconsumption of alcohol. Whatever the reason, one or both of the parties believed the other to be a Catboy patrol and opened fire. Soon, both groups were involved in a firefight and the gunfire alerted the rest of the army. One of the parties radioed for an airstrike and two PP-69 Ass Blasters dropped their load on one of the other parties position. Taking heavy casualties and believing the planes belonged to the Catboys, they retreated back towards the army spreading panic and reporting that the entire Catboy army was attacking.

Panicking, many soldiers either began to run, believing they were under attack, or fired blindly into the night, killing and wounding many of their own soldiers. Many also drowned in the Cum River as they tried to escape. Although Colonel Emma attempted to rally her troops, most of her women disregarded her orders. By morning, most of the camp was empty and a majority of the army had routed.

Losses
Reports of the incident estimate that of the 90,000 strong army, only about 30,000 remained the next day. Roughly 58,000 were lost or had completely routed. An estimated 2000 had been killed either due to friendly fire or by drowning. All artillery pieces had to be abandoned and 60 tanks and light vehicles were lost or destroyed. It would be the biggest military disaster in the history of the CUM.

Aftermath
The blunder led to the disintegration of the army sent to take Horsecock and Emma was forced to order a retreat as she no longer believed she had the forces necessary to take and hold the Catboy Capitol. This incident is cited as the primary reason for the army's defeat two days later at Yiff Hill. Many of the routed soldiers eventually rejoined with CUM forces, however many high ranking officers who abandoned their posts were tried for treason and executed. While it is unknown if the army would have been able to take Horsecock if the incident had not occurred, most experts believe it would have been likely.